The Easter grass is always greener when it’s edible

Easter basket with edible grassYou walked away for just a minute—maybe to brush the gooey jellybean innards from your teeth, or to get an aspirin to try to ward off that nasty sugar-crash headache you know is coming—and when you walk back into the kitchen or living room, there’s Fifi or Fido happily munching on the scattered contents of an overturned Easter basket full of candy…

Those of you who have dogs and who buy Easter baskets of candy for kids (or spouses who want to re-live their childhoods by pretending they’re kids on Easter morning) know the horrible feeling this scene engenders.

Once you’ve ascertained that the foolish mutt didn’t just sentence himself to a fatal chocolate rush, your next worry is that silly green plastic Easter grass which lines the bottom of the basket. If she’s lucky, the plastic strings will just pass through the intestines and make for some colorful poop the next day. If she’s not lucky, the strands can get tangled up in her digestive tract, snagging on any of the many surface features the same way it grabs onto sweaters and carpets. In particularly bad cases, it can cause a blockage like hair in a drainpipe or it can actually strangle and twist the intestines, restricting blood flow to the tissues. Nasty!

But what’s an Easter basket without the artificial grass? you ask. Truly, there is nothing that quite commemorates this Spring holiday like neon green simulated grass, but we’re willing to forgo that pleasure for the sake and health of our animal companions. Some web sites advocate using real sprouted wheatberry grass as an alternative, but, I’m not so sure I’d like digging in the soil to find the last, reluctant jellybean. So what to do?

I have found the solution: Edible Easter grass! Cheap, soil free, non-toxic, non-polluting and non-hazardous to pets, this rice and/or potato-starch based material is the perfect solution to a problem you probably never thought about before, and which you will likely never remember in time for next Easter. (This article was supposed to come out before Easter, but, as usual, my timing is impeccably poor.) You might still be able to find some in post-holiday sales at Target stores, which is where I found it (although I didn’t see it in their online store.) Or else you can order it through Candy Warehouse  Oriental Trading Company online or in their always-fascinating catalogs of jumbo bags of cheaply-made too-cute Asian junk.

Now I’m waiting to see if they can come up with edible tinsel in time for Christmas.

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