Moon(s) over Miami

Droning techno doesn’t thrill you, the women or men are ignoring you, the drinks are watered down… what can you do for entertainment in one of Miami’s hottest clubs?

Why not head to the bathroom?

The Miami Herald reports on the latest trend for club-owners (and ice cream parlor owners): the “necessary” as entertainment, with legal voyeurism, unisex rooms, language lessons, shadow shows and amazing glass walls which become opaque when the door latches closed.

Besides the attraction to Porky’s-type losers who need to take a glimpse at the girls adjusting their panties because that’s the closest they’re gonna get to a real live girl anyway, who else is that bored they would rather get these cheap thrills than just go home, open a beer and surf some channels. I mean, if the most action you’re getting is the accidental brushings-up while you’re letting everyone cut in front of you on the bathroom line, so you can get in a few more minutes of watching the shadows of women squatting and men standing — or vice versa — then your pathetic luck is not getting any better, and you may as well save what’s left of your money and dignity and fall asleep in your lonely bed with your hands down your pants. At least there, the only one who might see you is the FBI.